stop being a jerk: fun as the missing ingredient in improving our health

When our health is out of balance, we can lose the things we love — whether it is emotional contentment, a loving partner or literally your foot (diabetes, anyone?). Harsh, yes. But ask yourself, what do you have to lose from poor health? What have you already lost? And despite this awareness, I’m guessing some of you may have been wrongfully convinced that if you become healthier, all the fun and tasty things in life will disappear into a black hole. You’ll lose friends, miss out on your mom’s best dish, become a stick in the mud during the holidays and well, life will just suck…right? But also consider that you may become the first one in your circle to get your health back. And that could positively influence people you care about. Plus, imagine living your life with even more joy and pleasure because you have reclaimed your health. Possible? Probable? Yes to it all.

To be fair, maybe you’re not there yet. Maybe it’s hard to imagine. Maybe you’ve tried to make changes and the changes didn’t last. Maybe you have listened to your doctor’s advice but you’re still struggling. And if you are, think about this: how many doctors have asked you about what makes you happy? How many of them have encouraged you to make changes that are not only feasible but attractive to you? Or do they just slap a prescription in your hand and tell you there’s no cure, and that you can only “manage” your condition through drugs and a Mediterranean Diet (lol, loaded sentence I know)? As a Metabolic Health Coach and Personal Trainer, I have learned one giant lesson over and over again: people who keep getting sicker, end up losing way more than they ever imagined. And when I see people start to regain their health, the “good” things exponentially increase. It seems quite magical, actually. People not only look and feel better, but there’s some sort of unexplainable clarity that happens. Things start to line up for them. Their mind clears and sharpens. Hard decisions may have to be made, but it becomes easier and easier the more they do it. From witnessing these experiences and my own, I believe more ease and less mess is possible. More joy and less chaos is possible. For these things to happen, you can’t disband from what brings you joy. You must harness it in a new way. So if your doctor has neglected to inform you, improving your health requires you to have fun. Otherwise, your progress will suffer and so will you. Think I’m joking? Here’s a story…

During the COVID-19 pandemic, I started to make silly home videos just like everyone else. I also happened to not have a voice (literally, due to a surgery that compromised my vocal cords). I couldn’t talk my way through any of my videos, let alone sing a parody about N95 masks or vaccine conspiracies. So I made a workout video with the intro to the Queen song “We Will Rock You,” while I proceeded to do an upper body workout dressed as Freddie Mercury — with the eyebrows, mustache, teeth and everything. It was silly yes. But it got me thinking: what if people could hire Freddie Mercury to be their own personal trainer? Wouldn’t that be way more fun and motivating than some average dude or gal in boring gym clothes, telling them to do one more rep in a stinky gym? Freddie Mercury would sing his coaching tips, and do them alongside you, in his retro jogging outfit, complete with sweat bands, knee-high socks and microphone. Plus that beautiful British accent! All in the comfort of your own home (or computer screen, thanks COVID).

This really got me thinking. I had been working out for about five years consistently, and I never really liked the gym. Some of the trainers I had were less than worthy so I had a drive to be better than they were (and shout out to the ones I admired, who helped me choose the right certification program!). I knew that I needed variety in my workouts because I would get bored easily. And since the gyms were not my thing anyway, I wanted to learn how to use what I had at home to keep moving. So I got certified as an ACE Personal Trainer. It took about six months and then I built my website and started to train people. But Freddie hasn’t made another appearance…yet. However the spirit of the idea is still with me: bring joy back to the fitness process, bring health back to my clients.

Being a Food-First Personal Trainer, I always emphasize these two questions: Which foods bring you the most joy? And why do you want to make changes in your life? The answers are usually easy for people to share, as they know what they like and what they want. What surprises them though is when I tell them to keep their joy and use it as a tool to create more joy in their lives. And here is how to do it.

Replace What Ails You. Replace the thing that no longer serves you, with another thing that you love. This could be a food item or an activity. For example, if you love to eat ice cream (but it may be spiking your blood sugar and causing energy/mood crashes), try replacing it half the time with something else like unsweetened yogurt and fresh berries or a homemade coconut milk cherry popsicle (recipe coming soon). Or let’s say you work a desk job. You may not be ready to get a manual labor job but you can get a standing desk, adjustable chair or one of those under-the-desk ellipticals (people rave about improvements in their back and legs when they can move more throughout the work day). Whatever you choose, it must bring you joy—NOT torture and a bunch of FOMO. Stop being a jerk to yourself! That never gets you what you want anyway. So make a choice that will make you happy, not miserable.

Humor Is Required. Jokes are necessary. Giving yourself grace is essential. Throw perfection out the window and make room for adjustments and circumstance. If you want to cook more, make it fun! Watch a cooking show. This is one of my favorites. Or watch my cooking video on my podcast channel The Magic of Metabolic Health. Hell, make your own cooking show in your bed head and pajamas. I dare you. Find ways to lighten up and not take every moment so damn seriously.

Collaboration Is Key. Getting healthy all alone? Shouldn’t be a thing! I encourage you to find a partner in crime, as my mother likes to say, so you can not only have some accountability but someone to relate to and collaborate with. Ask your partner, friend, sibling, what they like—a walk in the park, cooking together, carrying laundry baskets up and down stairs? The collaboration will help you get creative. And fun will be a part of it too.

I clearly value the power of humor when doing hard things. After all, we are a species that loves to laugh at ourselves; that is why stand up comedy exists. We poke fun at the ludicrous things we torture ourselves with, like thinking we have to eat salads and celery forever into eternity, in order to be healthy (terrible, terrible idea). What ridiculous things have you tortured yourself with? Can you laugh about it now? Even a bit? As you simmer with your thoughts, ask yourself, how can I make my health journey more enjoyable? Try watching Eddie Abbew to start — the hilarious health nut and nurse and former body builder. And when life seems jolly rotten… be sure to check out my bathtub music video. If you believe that food and laughter are truly the best medicines, then don’t hesitate to live with them, eat them, love them, no matter what. May your body and mind continue to thank you for it.